Hello!
It seems fitting to come back to this blog with...a cock shot.
No, I'm not going to publish it, that would be gross. In fact I rejected it almost as soon as it, er, landed in my box.
It was last summer when I met this guy who thought it appropriate to send me a photo of his erect penis, while he was sitting next me in my local beer garden. I can only assume he already had the pic in his (ghastly) archive, rather than that he nipped to the loo to prepare and shoot, so to speak.
Thing is, I was attracted to him,
before he made his deposit. He was witty, a natty dresser, an architect. So we exchanged numbers with a view to make a future date, and then Boom! The Cock Shot. Well...
Long story short. I went out with him. Once. I think I admired his balls. You know, for sending something so brazen, when I was sat right there. I know! I bring this shit on myself. The date was alright, but I wasn't into him. His weirdness just continued. Like the fact he texted me ahead of our date saying he was looking forward to it and that I should 'bring lube'. Again, gross.
Back to the near-present and I'm back at the scene of the crime, having a drink with Mrs Jones. Up until two weeks ago, I'd only seen him once and managed to avoid him. But this time he caught me unawares...
"Do I know you?" says the cheeky little bastard, looking all familiar and exactly like the guy who blatantly sent me a photo of his cock, and who clearly went out with me on a date not that long ago.
"Yes" I reply, kindly, holding his gaze, whilst pausing enticingly.
What will I say next?
He's still looking...for answers (that he knows he knows the answer to).
"Yes", I continue, "we went on a date to the Inn on the Park last summer. And you sent me a photo of your penis. This is Mrs Jones, I don't think you know
her..."
That shut him up.
Idiot.
